The first step on the road to a clean life is admitting you have a problem. Everyone has an addiction. My son is addicted to PJ mask, my co-worker’s husband is addicted to working out. No addiction is greater than the other. Growing up in the inner city of Chicago you saw a lot of things in your neighborhood. You saw single moms, single dads, bad kids, good kids and everything under the sun. The majority I seen growing was men & women on drugs. Seeing young people making jokes about individuals being on substance abuse never sat well with me. Being young, I didn’t want to tell my friends that my dad was a drug user. Being a mom now I kinda understand why….. I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I would be teased by kids, whose parents were probably on drugs as well. Didn’t think that my parent being on drugs would affect my adult life but it kinda does.
“It Affects Me in So Many Ways,” says Donte, whose mom is battling her drug addiction today. ” His mom declined to talk to me but I still wanted to know his feelings of this issue. He speaks on how his mom addiction affects him as an adult. “My Personal life was/is Affected The Worst. I Had So Many Dark Days Growing Up, I Had Nothing To Look Forward To, Nobody I Could Lean On” he says. “I Was In Depression at a Very Early Age & It Effects Me Still To This Day. When Something Not Right I Just Shut Everybody Out, I Wanna Be Alone, I’m Not Sociable. I Don’t Mean To be detached To People But I Never Knew How To Respond To Those Things Because I Never Had an Outlet. All Those Emotions An Feelings Bottled Up In Mean I Still Have To Wear This Smile On My Face Because I Didn’t Want People To Judge Me. Still, To This Day, I Deal With These Issues, It’s Not Intentional Tho.” “I have abandonment issues ” Kesa who speaks about her mom mentions.
Knowing that the person with this substance abuse is not their TRUE personality. I know when my dad is clear minded from drugs he is the best person ever. He is so funny, (I think I get my silliness from him), he has the best conversations. “She (his mom) Has The Biggest Heart An Would Do Anything For Anybody” Donte comments. ” She Just Has Some Demons She Can’t Get Rid of”. Asking Kesa has she ever saw her mom sober she replied. “Once when she got out of prison, that was the only time in my life,” I spoke to Kesa and her mom about being about her addiction. Like myself, she was embarrassed about talking on her mother’s road on to being sober. “till this day I don’t like telling her business. I feel like people was going to say something slick about my mom then I’ll have to bet they’re a**”.
Talking to Kesa’s mom for nearly 20 minutes about the struggles she faces about being on drugs. I truly appreciate her for being open and honest about the daily demons she faces. Even though she didn’t want to be named, I do feel that her testimony will give an in site into a world that I or some of my readers don’t know anything about. Now I want everything we talked about but just a snippet of what she said. “Actually I started when I was like 22, coming up in the projects that were late in the game but I was still young“. she says. When asked what made her decision to start doing drugs. ” Just for one just trying to escape the problems I was going through with my child’s father and I was going through a lot of drama with him”. ” I wanted to numb myself out so my reality won’t is real”. Like others she has tried to get clean and sober every now and then. ” it’s not that simple, as people think it is, it’s an everyday process.” while talking to her she said something to me that really sat in my mind “Being an addict is harder than having a full-time job”. She goes to say that the reason for this is an addict is always trying to find their next high. You always hear or read what a person did to always get their drugs. I never spoke to a woman/man on what great lengths did they go get their drug. ” The craziness thing I’ve done for drugs is I think prostitution”. she says. At the end of our conversation, Kesa’s mom stated to me that she is doing things little at a time to try to get sober. She is not going out as much as she is doing and she is spending more time with her grandchildren. She also has something to say for individuals who are doing drugs now. “Don’t get caught up in the hype. Don’t think that a drug can’t take a hold of your life. That even goes for marijuana, they spraying everything on that loud. I went from doing nothing to a hard drug”.
I know when I was younger, I was very angry with my dad when he was on drugs. I felt like he was choosing drugs over my sister and I. Sometimes thinking that my life would’ve been different if I had my dad fully in my life. A lot of folks don’t realize how frustrating it trying to talk to your parent when they are in their moment. My dad is on drugs did sorta made me look at things differently. I don’t try to get excited about people, places or things. I believe that my father and I relationship is getting better one day at a time. Truly understanding from my dad’s point of view I am more open and more motivated with my dad.
Before you want to talk about a person dealing with substance, understand maybe that this person is going through something. Pray that God keeps his loving arms around them.
Comment below and tell me if you know anyone within their addiction.