Ghosting 👻👻

You know it’s always a show that relates to your personal life. On an episode of “INSECURE”, when Issa was really feeling a guy and he basically just ghosted her. Now for ppl who don’t know what ghosting mean here’s the definition:
GHOSTING- to suddenly end all communication with a person your dating for no reason.

Sadly this is something I know all too well. I didn’t go to the guy’s house like Issa did. But if I had the chance I probably would have. You might read this and be like “damn she sad as hell”, hey you might be right. But things happen. Knowing that the majority of my readers are like me so I’ll tell you the story. Walk with me, read with me as I take a flashback……..
It was 2016, and you can say I was dating this guy. I mean we talked every day literally every day on the phone. Do you know how hard it is to get a guy to talk on the phone nowadays? And the subjects just came so naturally. We would talk about our childhood, what we wanted to do with our lives, etc. Then one day, he just stops answering my calls. Just like most women, I started to think what did I do. “Was I calling too much?” ” Did I push certain subjects?” “Damn am I really boring?” I really started to get hard on myself; “Jerricka you did it again”. You know things like that, then my sadness turned into anger. “Its no way someone just up and stop talking to someone”. When I knew I was coming to the city that weekend, I knew my mission was to get some darn answers. When the weekend came, with some liquid courage and my friend at the time Justine in my passager seat my mission was on. First, I went to his job, he wasn’t there. Then I went to his house, he wasn’t there. I think Justine must be reading my mind because she tells me “We are not going back to his job”. She was right, WE didn’t go I did. Once I sped back driving her home, I went back to his job. I went in his job, walked up to him & asked him to come outside. Not even thinking if another woman was there at that point I didn’t care. Seeing him outside, I don’t know if it was the liquor or what I just started to yell and cry. Yearning for answers & asking why. I think when he started to talk and give me the “reasons why” he ghosted me his voice seemed to fade. You usually see those things on movies because everything he was saying I thought was a lie. Either I was drunk or wasn’t trying to hear what he was saying. He was clearly talking but it was like he was on mute.

Nothing was the same after that day. Our conversations were just dry & I knew what type of person he was from that day on. He was a person who just would leave situations just open. More so, I learned something about me that night. For one, I do pop-ups and that doesn’t make you crazy. Now what you do after you pop up, will determine if your crazy or not. Understanding that, that “no one owes you anything” is a crap a bull. To a certain extent, no one has to do anything for you. But individuals do owe you an explanation. Its ok to ask the “why” question. “Why would you do this, Why did you do that”. If you feel like a person is treating you a certain way speak up. Learning that it is ok to demand an answer. It may not be the answer you want to hear but is an answer. The most important thing I learned is that I am enough. If things go left, don’t beat myself up. Just continue to be the best person I can be. Finally, maybe that wasn’t man God had for me.

I’m not going to lie, being ghosted that one time changed me. It let me have my guard up. Not saying that I have every man pay for what this person did BUT it helps me stay on my toes. Not to believe everything a person tells me.

Comment below and tell me a time someone ghosted you. And how did you handle it.

3 Comments

  1. When you said I do pop ups I was like yesssss sis. I’m retired from the pop ups but don’t make me come out of retirement because I will! People are so insensitive if you not feelin me no more let that be known and we can both keep it pushin! I love insecure btw

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  2. So true on so many levels!!! It’s something within you that needs to know, what went wrong & you’ll never know what that person reason was without asking . I express this so much in my current relationship, asking “why” would help the assumptions & help you not tear yourself down in the process. Stop trying to think for the other person in situations like this.

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