“The walls are caving in, your throat is closing up, the room is dark”. This is what I have been feeling lately. Everyone knows that I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for some time now. For some months now it has been at an all-time high. To the point that I don’t want to be around anyone. I know some people may say that “ Jerricka be so happy sometimes” but sometimes it is just a mask. I know what some may say that hey I’m alive, I’m blessed and I have an amazing son. But having anxiety doesn’t mean that you’re ungrateful. It means that you are trying figure things out day by day. And what better way to express my dark than write it out.
I try to not let things get the best of me but they do. In the last couple of weeks, I have been feeling nervousness about if I am doing everything correctly. Dealing with my school work, trying to find a better job and still being the best mom/person I can be, life is caving in on me. Feeling that I am screaming in a room and no one hears me. Sadly I don’t even feel that I can trust anyone not even some friends. I am always the go-to person I have been down to the point sometimes I don’t want to deal with anyone. I know that because I started back writing that this will be the things I write about.
I just want my readers & everyone to know what I am dealing with. And the sad thing is that a lot of people handle it without asking for help. But I am, I am asking that you keep me in your prayer. For right now i am taking a step back from writing and being a helpful friend just until I get myself in order.