Dark Days

“The walls are caving in, your throat is closing up, the room is dark”.  This is what I have been feeling lately. Everyone knows that I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for some time now. For some months now it has been at an all-time high. To the point that I don’t want to be around anyone. I know some people may say that “ Jerricka be so happy sometimes” but sometimes it is just a mask. I know what some may say that hey I’m alive, I’m blessed and I have an amazing son. But having anxiety doesn’t mean that you’re ungrateful. It means that you are trying figure things out day by day. And what better way to express my dark than write it out.

I try to not let things get the best of me but they do.  In the last couple of weeks, I have been feeling nervousness about if I am doing everything correctly. Dealing with my school work, trying to find a better job and still being the best mom/person I can be, life is caving in on me. Feeling that I am screaming in a room and no one hears me. Sadly I don’t even feel that I can trust anyone not even some friends. I am always the go-to person I have been down to the point sometimes I don’t want to deal with anyone. I know that because I started back writing that this will be the things I write about.

I just want my readers & everyone to know what I am dealing with. And the sad thing is that a lot of people handle it without asking for help. But I am, I am asking that you keep me in your prayer. For right now i am taking a step back from writing and being a helpful friend just until I get myself in order.


5 Comments

  1. When your feeling this way that the world is on top of you, That you want to throw in the towel, and give up just know your doing something right and too close to a blessing to stop. That is a trick of the enemy and he does not win in any area of our lives. Even when you don’t have a crowd around you just know you always have someone in your corner by your side and he is all the person you need his name is Jesus he knows all about Jerricka and he cares for you. So look up my friend things will….they are getting better.

    Thanks for sharing this part of you with us.

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  2. Life is like a merry go round, sometimes you re up and sometimes you’re down. One thing for sure Jay ” Jesus is always on our side. Despite the opposition & challenges of life we WJN. I pray that God will continue to Strengthen you & show you his miraculous power. God has a purpose & a plan for your life, Listen…..never shut down from those who Love you. Spend more time with your inner being, get to you U & who God created inside of you ‘his name is Jesus. Hes your compass & hes concerns with what concerns you.

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  3. Jerricka! Anxiety is not of God. Not sure what you believe in but know from a Christian perspective this is a scheme of the enemy to keep you in defeat. Let me know if you need anything, just email me.

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  4. I can relate I use to suffer from depression before I started surrounding myself with high vibe energy through affirmations and books. Also, Jesus heals!

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  5. Jerricka everything will get better. You shouldn’t stop writing at the time you need. Sounds like this is an outlet for you. And yes anxiety is real but you don’t have to make that a characteristic of your personality. You are amazing. Keep faith alive…

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