In the words of Lil Kim ” I been gone for a minute now I am back with the jump-off”. I know that I haven’t been writing for a while & to be honest I have been insecure. Insecure about my writing topics as well as still catching the reader’s attention. Then it came to me, peeling off the layers. The layers of insecurities, self-esteem, and lack of confidence. Us being ladies or even men, we all have something that we don’t feel the best about. In order for you to get through something, you have to admit what your layers are and try to peel them off. So you can feel better as a person or so it won’t stop your blessings. I wanted to shine a light on the three layers that I am currently or have peeled off.

1. The fear of loving someone and NOT getting loved in returned: Clearly everyone knows that I am a single mother. Eventually I would want more children, but with the right man. I do want to be married or even in a stable relationship. Just the way our generation is set up, I don’t think that will happen. Everyone wants to be loved or feel that love with a person. But what if that person don’t feel that way or is just playing around. I want to be able to come home and lay with my best friend or be able to talk to “MY GUY” about anything. I see all of my friends happy with a person that they truly love and it makes me sad. It makes me wonder when or if God will send me my husband.

– I had to realize that what God has for me it is for me. My time is going to come one day, but until then continue to work on SELF. Continue to be happy for my friends and family. Acknowledging that it is okay to be alone. Keep pushing to become the best person, mother, friend, etc I can be. Then again,maybe God has sent my husband but HE is not ready yet. But I know if its meant to be it will be.

2. I am so afraid that I won’t be successful: Every since I have been a little girl, I wanted the finer things in life. I have always wanted to live comfortable. I really want this blog to blossom. Trying to have a career in the major I went to school for (communications). I have seen my aunts, & grandparents live from pay check to pay check and I didn’t want that in my life. I want to own a successful business, own a home. I want to be stable and feel stable, to be able to pay for my sons college without him being in debt. I want to be able to sit at the table and eat, not be under catching crumbs. It’s said that America is the land of golden opportunities, and I want to be able to experience it.

– Understanding that God will not put nothing on you , that you can’t handle. Knowing that something so precious & close to my heart will not be made overnight. I heard a quote ” the quicker you rise to the top, the quicker you may fall”.  Keeping my eyes on the goals that I want to achieve, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop me.

3. Not liking the skin that I am inAfter having my son, I gain a pretty much amount of weight. Going shopping, I really was/am self-conscious about my body. Wanting to know if everything is fitting in the right places. Or if the clothes don’t make me look bigger than what I am. Knowing that I may not be able to wear a size 7-9 anymore. Making sure that when I leave the house, I am pretty enough in the eyes of society or even my peers.

Still learning and noticing, that if you don’t like something, YOU have the power to change it. To hell with society & knowing that each person is beautiful in their own way . Realizing that we may not always be attractive to someone and that’s okay, life goes on. Knowing if you don’t like my size or the way I look then you don’t have to fuck with me  AT ALL. Because in the end, that’s YOUR problem not mine!!!

We all have things that we are insecure about, and things we need/want to work on. Comment below and share what you are insecure about and what you are doing to change it.

The other day I was talking to a friend, & I realized that I have never been on a “real” date. Now either I have wasted my time on some real losers or the men in my generation has forgotten about Chivalry. You know opening car doors, giving flowers, dropping your jacket so she can walk over a puddle. Now I know my ex- boyfriends that are reading this may be thinking ” I did take that broad out on a date”. So let me take you down memory lane on the “dates” that I remember.

This was like a year after I had Jamar, & I start working at Dollartree. This guy that was working next door had asked me out on a date. Me being the person that I am, I didn’t think it was a good idea but he was cute so I went for it. Now he didn’t have a car & we had to use public transportation. Thinking in my mind “Hey I wasn’t born in a car so I didn’t mind”. We get to Applebee’s, & we chilling & having a good time until the check comes. This negro didn’t even have enough to pay  for the meals. I was pissed it was the two for $20.  Why didn’t he just inform me that he didn’t have a lot of money? Let’s just say that guy didn’t get a call the next day.

The next one was when I was in a relationship with the guy. I guess he tried to planned the whole date out but he didn’t plan it correctly. Once again he didn’t have a car and I did, so it wasn’t a big deal. That day we argued over EVERYTHING. From what I was going to wear to me driving my own car. We went to Chili, and it was nice but us arguing earlier that day just messed with my mood. Plus our relationship was going down hill anyway. I think after a couple of months we broke up.

I know what your thinking “Jerricka you must be a gold digger” and the answer is NO. I am a very appreciative person for anyone who goes out of their way for me. I don’t ask for much when it comes to dating, but is that the problem? Am I too understanding to men situations that I just settle for a mediocre ass date? Am I a gold digger for wanting be so excited that I cant control myself. Is it bad that I want a man to get his fat ass out the car, and ring my bell. Instead of texting me telling me he is outside. Also I am not like one of those stuck up women. I like going to basketball games, football games, (and I actually know what is going on), that can be a date.

The question is why is chivalry dead? Is it because women in the 21st century are so independent, that some men are intimated. Are women just settling for the “netflix and chill”? Or does men feel like its no need to charm a woman when its a girl out here settles for whatever she can get?

I want to hear about what do you consider to be a nice date. Comment below and tell me one of date stories.

Because this is a new journey for me, I wanted my first post to be about the year 2016. Since we will be ending 2016 , my question is what do we want to bring with us from this year. As I hear a lot of people mentioned “2016  was a horrible year” or ” just throw the 2016 year away”. But what exactly are we throwing away? As for me, 2016 was a learning experience, learning about myself, friends and family. Learning that I don’t always have to be available and that okay. Learning that if you can’t accept me for me than its no need to communicate. But don’t get it twisted, I have also had my bad days just like everyone else. So come 2017, there are some things that I do want to bring with me from this year:

  1. Happiness: I’ve learned that ME being happy is the most important thing in my life right now. If I am not happy then, my son won’t be happy and it just will be bad for everyone. So you have to learn what makes you happy. Me personally, I love being by myself at times. I was raised that its nice to be by yourself, just so you can hear your own thoughts. Have a glass a wine, take a nice warm bath and relax your mind, body and spirit. Which brings me to number 2..
  2. Positive vibes: In order to be happy you have to get rid of dead weight. You  can’t go through life being or being around a negative Nancy. You are who you hang around. If your friends and family are negative sooner or later you will be negative. You have to surround yourself with people that is always going to have a smile on their face and wish you nothing but the best. And that leaves me to the last ….
  3. Motivators: Usually you hear people say “haters are my motivators”. That may be true BUT you need some people that are not “hating” on you.  Get someone that will tell you what’s right and wrong. I was always told nobody and I mean NOBODY likes a lazy man or woman. What that means is.. well I think it is self-explanatory. What motivates me is first my son, he motivates me to be better and always do better. Another motivation is my surroundings. Growing up on the west-side of Chicago it wasn’t all peaches and creme. A final motivation is all my aunts and female friends. These women work a 9-5 jobs then go to school or work on their God given talents. Seeing them do the damn things makes me want to “level up”

So what do you want to do to not make 2017 a 2016 2x? What is it that you don’t want to do in 2017. What new habits that YOU are willing to learn. I know my top priority is learning how to save. Lord knows that me and saving do not go hand and hand. But Jan.1st, I want saving to be my “BAE”.  Another thing that I want to be “Bae” is timing. I am NEVER on time for anything. All my friends know this as well as family. Hell I think my boss is even trying the grasp at the fact that I will be late sometimes. Just remember whatever you want to change or do new, make sure it’s for YOU.  On that note, I wish you a great new year 2017.

Comment below and tell me what are bringing to the new year. Also what do you want to do new.